well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
