Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
