buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
