She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
