I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
