awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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