I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
