these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
