He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
