The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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