I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
