dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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