honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
