Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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