I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I am one with the molecules
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
