Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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