but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
