Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
