i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yo dont text me then not text me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
