It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
