Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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