Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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