He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
