How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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