i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
