Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
