He is an equal opportunity slut.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
