did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
