loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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