I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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