We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
