just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
