The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She's JV to your varsity
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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