I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I've blown a few things in my day
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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