Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
