i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
