Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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