I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
