So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
