why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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