Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
