It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
