she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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