There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
