Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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