Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
