Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
