U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
