How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You ate ashes out of my bong
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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