I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
