I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
