She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
