My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
