i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
